


the one where i project onto every character

by siriusdamage



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Happy Hogan is a Good Bro, Harley Keener is a Good Bro, Hurt Peter, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned May Parker (Spider-Man), Mentioned Quentin Beck, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker-centric, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Quentin Beck Being a Jerk, aka no spideychelle, i'm picking and choosing from certain events in ffh, mentioned Tony Stark, unfortunately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-08-23 05:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20237167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusdamage/pseuds/siriusdamage
Summary: Peter has a nightmare. Harley helps.AKA Beck is a bitch and Peter is sad D:





	the one where i project onto every character

**Author's Note:**

> i haven’t posted anything in months so hopefully this will make up for it :)

Peter woke in cold sweat for the third time that week, sitting up in bed as his heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest. It had been a while, but he couldn't get Beck out of his mind; his voice filled his eardrums and threatened to explode them and his face swirled through his mind as he felt like he could still feel the hot breath on his face. Quickly and clumsily, he slid out of bed and stumbled towards the door. He felt sick and dizzy and he just wanted to see May or Mr. Stark or someone- but it was the middle of the night, May was on the other side of the city since Peter had been spending his weekends at the Avengers Tower, and Mr. Stark was gone now. Either way, Peter couldn't stay in his room - he suddenly felt suffocated and very warm. He was pretty sure he screamed - but he couldn't think about that now. He could only think about getting out. 

He couldn’t stay cramped in his room, so he stumbled his way towards an elevator and told F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take him somewhere. Anywhere with a couch. Peter had ended up in a lounge and was surprised to see a tuft of golden hair on the couch. That was odd. Why was Harley awake at this hour? Peter was still breathing hard, so it was no doubt that Harley had heard him, and so he approached the couch slowly, sinking down into the cushions as far away from Harley as he could.

Harley didn’t say anything. He looked at Peter for a moment. Peter looked just about as bad as Harley felt; bags under bloodshot eyes, a dead stare, hair a mess (more than usual). It wasn’t exactly subtle how heavy and shaky his breathing was, either. 

They stayed like that for a while. Harley stayed silent, not wanting to make anything worse for Peter. Peter stayed silent, not wanting to disturb Harley. Peter had no clue why Harley was awake. He wasn’t sure he wanted to ask, either. Eventually, Peter pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. His head was buried in his knees. He couldn’t quiet his racing thoughts no matter how hard he tried. He tried and he tried but nothing worked. He’s tried the good and the bad ways to get rid of the thoughts, but somehow nothing kept them away. Everything Beck had done, everything he had said; it wouldn’t leave Peter’s mind. His words overwhelmed his thoughts and every time he closed his eyes he saw his face. The sound of his booming voice filled Peter’s eardrums until he could hear nothing else. And that stupid fishbowl. 

_Look at yourself. You are just a scared little kid in a sweatsuit. _

Peter wanted it to stop. He needed it to stop. 

_If you were good enough, maybe Tony might still be alive. Deep down, you know I’m right._

Peter’s hands had now travelled to his scalp where he gripped tightly at his hair. He didn’t feel much, enhanced strength and all. Some days he wished he never had that strength. He felt a few hot salty tears slip from his eyes as Beck’s words replayed in his head over and over again and his voice rung in his ears. Fuck, he did not want to cry. It had been quite a while since the incident with Beck, but that didn’t mean he had recovered in the slightest. He was trying to make peace with Tony’s… passing, but what Beck had said to him definitely did not make anything better. Peter nearly forgot Harley was there until he spoke for the first time that night. 

“Peter?” He whispered, reluctance clear in his tone. “Do you...want to talk about anything?” He knew it was a long shot, but he had to offer, at least. 

Peter’s grip loosened from his hair as he ever so slightly lifted his head. “Sorry for bothering you, I didn’t think there’d be anyone awake,” His voice was weak and hoarse, he assumed from when he screamed earlier that night. He didn’t want to tell Harley what was going on. The only one who knew about all of this, the nightmares, everything, was May, and it was only because she lived with him. Peter couldn’t run away from a conversation with May when there’s nowhere to run. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about me.” 

“I’m not going to bed anytime soon, anyways. I can’t sleep, too far from home. And you’re my friend. Kind of.” Both Harley and Peter would have to admit, they weren’t really that good of friends. Harley remembered Tony talking about Peter and Peter remembered Tony talking about Harley, saying how much he wanted to introduce the two. The two of them never actually met until Tony’s funeral. Tony had still brought the boys together, just not in the way any of them had hoped. “And it sure doesn’t look like nothing. You can tell me.”

“No,” Peter protested. “I don’t want to.” 

“C’mon, Pete.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“No, it’s not fine.” Harley shuffled closer towards him. “You can tell me. It’ll never leave this room. Please, Pete, I wanna help.” 

Peter stayed silent for a moment. His legs drifted from his chest slightly. “It’s nothing.”

“Tell me, Pete.” Harley pleaded. 

That was when something in Peter snapped. 

“You know what?” The volume of his voice grew, but it became shakier. “You want to know?” Peter absolutely did not want to keep talking. He did _not_ want Harley to know what was going on, but he kept talking. His mouth was moving faster than his brain and he couldn’t stop it. “I cant stop having these stupid nightmares about that stupid villain where nothing is real and it’s all a lie and I’m not good enough to stop it or tell what’s real and what’s fake.” Peter didn’t take a breath. He kept rambling on to a shocked Harley, despite his words becoming shakier and wetter by each one that left his lips. “And he keeps telling me that if I were good enough, if I were more than just a useless kid, m-maybe Tony-” Peter stopped himself for a moment. That was wheee he’d have to cut himself off. He took a breath, clearly winded. He was crying now, full on display for Harley to see everything for all of the broken boy he was. 

There was a long silence, nothing could be heard but Peter’s occasional sniffles. Soon enough, Peter felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him. Harley was hugging him. Peter couldn’t help but collapse into him. 

“Hey, none of it is your fault.” Harley’s voice was oddly soothing to Peter, soft and refreshing. “You can’t blame yourself for that.” He sighed. “I get it. You can’t carry something so huge like that by yourself, Pete.”

“But if I just-” Peter bit back a sob. “If I had just stopped him before the blip. If I had been strong enough-” He paused, taking a breath. “None of it would’ve happened.” 

“Don’t say that, Pete. It’s not your fault. Nobody could’ve stopped it.” Harley’s fingers were lightly tracing patterns onto Peter’s back. It usually helped calm down his sister when she would get upset. 

They stayed like that for a while. Peter was crying into Harley’s shoulder. Harley’s fingers continued to trace lightly across his back and whispered quiet reassurances to Peter as he wept. It was absurdly peaceful. 

Eventually, Peter’s head lifted from Harley’s shoulder and the taller boy’s arms released from the hug. There was a recognizable wet spot on Harley’s t-shirt now, which Peter muttered a quiet “sorry,” to. 

Peter’s shaky legs slowly pulled himself off of the couch. “I’m gonna go to bed, I think.” His voice was weak, still trembling slightly. 

“I’ll join you.” Harley suggested. Peter gave him a puzzled look. He probably could have phrased that better. “I mean, just to make sure you’re okay and everything.” 

Peter flashed Harley a weak smile. It was clearly forced, but at least he was trying. “Alright.” Peter paced towards the elevator, Harley following him. He told F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take them to Peter’s room and she followed suit, the two of them arriving in a few seconds. 

Harley slowly followed Peter into his room and watched Peter as he collapsed onto the bed. Harley began to walk away before Peter cried out, “Where are you going?” 

“I just wanted to make sure you got to your room okay and then-” 

“No…” Peter whined. “Stay!” He looked at Harley with his signature puppy dog eyes that always worked on Mr. Stark. They still work on Pepper. Sometimes. “Please? At least until I fall asleep.”

“Fine.” Harley sighed, trotting over towards the bed. He felt like he was in the most cliché romance movie. “But only until you fall asleep, then I’m leaving.” 

Peter sprang up and grabbed Harley by the wrist and pulled him down onto the bed. Harley carefully pulled back the blankets so he and Peter could slip beneath them. Harley and Peter kept their distance at first, until Peter began inching his way over to Harley. Soon enough, Peter was snuggled against Harley’s chest with his collection of fuzzy blankets covering the two of them. 

Harley found himself tracing shapes into Peter’s back again as the other slowly drifted off to sleep. He did it to help relax Peter, but it helped him relax as well. Harley said he would leave once Peter had fallen asleep, but he didn’t want to wake Peter up by moving, so… 

Peter was supposed to meet Happy that morning to work on something regarding his suit, Peter didn’t really know, but he never showed up. Happy decided to go to Peter’s room to see what had been keeping him. He found the two boys huddled together under a copious amount of blankets. Peter’s head was rested on Harley’s chest and Harley’s arms were wrapped protectively around Peter. Happy simply smiled and left the room, letting the boys get their rest.

**Author's Note:**

> i tried SO HARD to find a way to keep tony alive in this fic im so sorry :(
> 
> also sorry if they were kinda ooc i was basically projecting this entire thing


End file.
